Sunday, February 6, 2011

Sanctum - the review.

Photo courtesy: Wikipedia

Hubby wanted us to go see Sanctum. On first seeing the poster, I assumed it is a horror movie. I am not a horror movie fan, and after checking a bit of the story on Wikipedia, I decided to go ahead and watch.

And the decision turned out for the best.

The film was familiar to me on so many levels, the most superficial one being that, I had read a startlingly similar true story once, on Readers Digest. That was when I was around 10 years old, and still the memory is vivid. At many moments in the movie, I would think to myself, hey, I have seen this before.

The film is sad, very much so. I really mourned each wasteful death in the film, more than I have mourned virtual deaths in years. The part of  me that gets hurt watching movies, has learnt to compartmentalize, and tell myself, "No one really died, it is just a story." Sometimes I re-write stories in my head with a happy ending. Perhaps the best compliment to this movie is that I could not do so.

And still, I love the film, for much the same reason it is named the Sanctum. That it shows man's insignificance while also showcasing his strength. That arrogance and wealth do not amount to much when you are up against the forces of nature. And that, to truly love yourself, you have to reach within your sanctum, whatever it is. To hold a mirror up and say, this is who I am.

How does the movie relate to my own life? By the fact that, I don't think I have truly, ever, found my sanctum. Or at least, I do not find it right now. Telling yourself that you have total strength, and believing it, are two totally different things.

The closest I came to believing in myself, was after I had hit a personal nadir, and knew not which way to turn. One way is off limits ever. Because I don't know what lies on the other side. So, I turned to friends who provided support, and said that when they could win, so can I. And so, though I did not believe totally in myself, I pretended to, and slowly drafted a plan that would help me become stronger.

And it was a good plan. So good, in fact, that I was able to execute maybe 30% of it. And the result was that I started to believe in myself more than I have ever believed. It was enough for the moment, but not for what was to come in years forth.

The best thing about a blog is it can successfully hide your cowardice and hypocrisy.You can talk all you want and not end up doing it. You can focus on gaiety and fun while ignoring what is important in your life.

The best thing about movies, though, is that they provide perspective. You get to sit still in a dark room for a long time, and you get a lot of insight that you might not get otherwise.

Strangely, despite all the tragedy in this movie, it was uplifting, because it showed the tenacity of the human spirit. And that, right now, has become my sanctum.  A place inside me where I can look, and say, hey, I have it in me to continue.

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